The second month of the year has come and gone. I can’t say that it was eventful, but it was not as bad as January has been for me. There's a bit more light in this one.
Entertainment has been a big push for me in a positive direction and mindset. Watching good shows and listening to good music has been inspiring. My BTS and Seventeen fan heart has been full this past month.
Samsung came out with some photos of Yoongi promoting one of their TVs. It’s an old shoot, but I can’t exactly be choosy now that he’s enlisted. This month also marked 500 days (about 1 and a half years) until his discharge. I know it is still a long time but the time he is away is getting shorter.
Yoongi had a good couple of episodes of Suchwita this month, ending the season with his friend El Capitan. I appreciate all that he has done to make sure fans had content to watch while he was away. But I am sad that it is all over now. While there are rumors of another movie on D-Day later in the year, it's nothing definite. We can only wait and see what that would be about.
I’m glad that news on J-Hope's Hope on the Street came out. With Suchwita ending, it’s great to have something else coming up. Jin also posted his monthly video check-ins. Jin coming back is another thing to look forward to in a few months.
As for Seventeen, I was happy to see some of the boys going to fashion week. Nana Tour ended this month so it was nice to see them doing other things now that I can’t see them in action once a week.
Being a new fan, I’m starting to discover which of the members are my favorites. I fell in love with Seungkwan’s voice when he sang during Nana Tour. It was so beautiful and so heartfelt. His new single is also such a comfort to listen to. It reminded me of how much I love the Seventeen song Yawn.
Woozi is turning out to be my bias in the group. I love watching that quiet confidence he has about him. I also admire that he doesn’t seem in any way arrogant for someone with his talent in music. Apart from him, I have also found myself drawn to watching Wonwoo’s Weverse Lives. There’s something about his speaking voice that I find comforting for some reason.
Working on my creative pursuits has been on my mind a lot in February. As I mentioned in my post about January, I felt that I had a lot of anxiety because I am currently unemployed. I felt so stressed.
My problem is that I am not used to not doing anything. I don’t know how to relax. It feels like I should always be doing something because that's what I have been doing all my life. It made me push myself a lot and it was not working out from a creative standpoint. I need to step back and learn how to relax to let things flow better again.
I had a couple of unexpected work opportunities come my way last month. I received two offers for a couple of work projects. The weird thing is I did not get any further feedback after I accepted them. I know they weren’t scams. The companies were legit, which is why I found it odd that they stopped communicating. It was after they said the offers were for projects starting soon.
While the month started strong with the Lunar New Year and birthdays in the family, it did have its lows. I had to end the month learning that a friend of mine had passed away in a house fire with her family. It was such a tragic way to go. She was a friend that I lost touch with for years until she reached out to me a couple of months ago. I can’t believe that our messages to each other back then would be our last.
Our family also had a ceremony for my father this past month. He has been gone for more than a decade now and it feels like we are still saying goodbye. That's the thing with grief I guess. It never goes away. You can compartmentalize and move on. You can pretend that it didn't happen and go on with your life. But there will always be days that will remind you. And that grief will come rushing in all over again. That's how it felt for me last month.
February has been a crazy month. Was it better than January? Yes. Was it great? I could be better. But if there is anything the passing of my friend has reminded me of, it's that I have to be grateful for what I have.
I am still here. I am still standing. I still have so many possibilities in front of me. Things can only get better.

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