On a Cloud

Have any of you ever noticed that your circle of friends gets smaller as you get older? I realized that this had happened to me. I used to have a lot of friends when I was still a student. Even in my early 20s, I would like to think that I had a lot of people I considered friends. These days, no matter how many "friends" I have on social media, I have only been in touch with a select few.   

It makes me sad to realize how some of the people I used to be close to became people whom I have no contact with anymore. At the same time, I also realized that there are people who have stayed my friends through the years. It makes me appreciate the people who have kept me as their friend regardless of how our lives have changed.   

Losing friends is not anyone's fault. At least that's what I'd like to think about it. People change and grow, and our lives start becoming complicated as we get older. Some of us get busy with our jobs, families, and children. As life goes on, people tend to move away from the places that used to be their constant and meet new people along the way. Life can take us on different paths. Sometimes that may mean that we will never see or hear about each other again. 

Some friendships are not meant to be there for life, but that doesn't mean that they were never your friends. Life happens. Circumstances can change our trajectories in life resulting in the loss of friendships.  

There are many people I used to be close to that I have lost touch with. Sometimes I remember them and wonder if they are doing well. I hope they are. While we are now closer to strangers or acquaintances, I still appreciate the past we have shared. I will always wish them well.   

People change. We go off in different directions. This means that close friends can get to the point of being unable to relate to each other anymore. And that’s fine. It’s part of our journey in life that we cannot avoid.   

Sometimes we can also grow into people with opposing beliefs. Some things are not fixable by agreeing to disagree. That's OK too. Despite that, I would like to think that it doesn't mean the friendship shared in the past was a waste. It only means it was not meant to go beyond a certain point. That's the way things go sometimes, all we can do is accept that. It is what it is. The only thing left to do is be thankful for what was there and move forward.   

I used to feel bad whenever I realized that there were people in my life that I had lost as friends. I look at old photos and wonder what life would be like if these people were still in my life. I mourn the loss of those friendships, but I am still happy that I have the bond and memories we have shared.   

It's sad to think of how people who were part of my significant life moments are no longer in it. I used to wonder why they stopped keeping in touch. I later realized that as with any relationship, it is a two-way street. I have as much to blame for the loss of the friendship as anyone else.   

Maintaining a friendship can only happen if both sides choose to make the effort. It’s not even about daily calls or messages. I can be as simple as checking in from time to time. But as I said earlier, it is also not that easy. Life can complicate things in ways we cannot avoid. Sometimes the best way to save a friendship (or keep the fond memories of it) is to let it die its natural death. Losing touch and keeping good memories is better than forcing things to work out.  

That clichéd line that some people are there only for a reason, or a season is true, at least in my experience. I can only hope that the people who are no longer around in my life can look back on our past friendships with a smile. I hope that they value those memories as much as I have.  

There are people whom I have known since childhood who I still consider friends. Some are people from my school days, some I met through work or some other way. We don’t talk often but I value the effort they put into our friendship. We usually talk to each other at random moments, but that makes it even more precious. It's because we take time out of our crazy lives to keep tabs on each other, even if it's for something as simple as saying hi.  

As an introvert, I tend to be bad at being the first to reach out. Because of that, the effort my friends make to keep in touch is very special to me.  I am grateful that I have these people in my life, and I hope I get to keep them in it moving forward.  

I am grateful for my friends from both the past and the present. I look forward to the friendships I will make in the future too. These people are precious gifts, I hope we can all learn to appreciate and cherish them.