On a Cloud

Remember the saying that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all? Sometimes we don’t do much of that anymore. I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing.  

Let’s take social media, for example. It’s so easy for people to judge others and share it online. It’s gotten to the point that the “unlike” button exists for several social media platforms.   

I have conflicting feelings about those who leave negative posts or comments online. There’s nothing wrong with having an opinion. We all have the right to have one. But sometimes other people are just being mean. They're saying negative things even if the other person did not do anything to deserve it.  

I can admit that sometimes, sharing a negative opinion is valid. There are people that you need to call out if they did something wrong. Some people need to be accountable for things they do or say, depending on the context of the situation. But what I don’t understand is why some people need to judge them. Why do they have strong negative opinions that they have to share so bad?  

Does it make them feel better about themselves to share that they have the “right” opinion? Does it feel good to call out and judge because they are the “better” person? What kind of good intention is there for saying something negative to another?  

I find it difficult to be judgmental about other people. It’s hard to share negative opinions about others. I often think about how I don’t know them well enough to make those judgments. If I did, I would share those opinions with the person concerned. It's a better option than voicing my opinions in public (or with other people). If I have an opinion that won’t change anything and would only hurt another, I’d rather keep those opinions to myself.   

Where is all this coming from? Personal experience. I know how it feels for people to have these misconceptions about me. They can be hurtful; it doesn't matter if they come from strangers or people I know. I don’t want another person to feel the same way because of something that I say or think about them.  

It took growing older for me to realize that most people who have these opinions don’t know me well enough to say them. And I don’t know them well enough to have to explain anything to them. To be honest, if I did know them well enough, I don’t even have to.   

Whatever opinions that I have I would rather keep to myself. Unless that person did something to hurt another person. Or that person did something illegal or immoral. But that’s if I even have an opinion. I have too many personal concerns. I can’t use my time to think about other people when I have my own business to worry about.   

Sometimes we waste too much time thinking about other people. It’s either we worry about what they think, or form completely unnecessary opinions about them. We don’t need to do either one. Those are not life-changing concerns to have. We can live without them. I would rather dwell on the positives of life than focus on the negative ones.   

We live in a very diverse world. We are all different people in so many ways. It’s hard to judge because we are all such complex individuals with varying ways of living. We all have our flaws too. None of us are perfect, no matter how much some would like to think we are.   

Like everyone else, I am also a complex and flawed human being. I have my good points, but I have made mistakes in my life too. I know I will continue to make more of them as I go along. Because that’s how life is. We learn from our mistakes. I hope trying to avoid being judgmental will be one of those lessons that I will keep applying to my life.   

If I can give anyone advice about this, it’s to think before you speak. Don’t be too quick to judge. 

The next time the urge to be judgmental hits, do what I do and ask yourself: “Who am I to judge?”