On a Cloud

When I was younger, I was often swayed to follow the ideas of the people around me. As a former people pleaser, I wanted to fit in. That meant that I usually agreed with the people I surrounded myself with. As I grew older, I realized that there were ideas that I did not agree with. There were things or ways of life that were not healthy for me. One of these things is how people focus too much on negativity. 

This focus on negativity is something that did not sit well with me even then. But I never said anything about it because, as I said, I wanted to fit in. I kept quiet, and I tended to absorb this focus that people had on negativity. By keeping silent I started absorbing that frame of mind and thinking the same way. 

What do I mean by negativity? People who always seem to see the bad parts in life. People who always complain about people, places, things, or experiences. I used to believe that this behavior was justifiable. That the reason people complain a lot so that these negative things can change. I later realized that is not always the case.  

I realized that sometimes people complain or fuss over things to elevate themselves. To prove themselves as the “better person.” They do this to make themselves feel better about themselves. There are still people who may call out or take note of negative things who have good intentions. But it seems the former is still the most common reason rather than the latter. 

Being negative in this way, for the wrong reasons, can get magnified when you spread it to other people. When you encourage other people to think or feel the same way. As I’ve mentioned before in an earlier post, if you can’t say anything nice, it’s better not to say anything at all. And if it doesn’t affect or hurt anyone else or if it doesn’t affect you, it’s none of your business anyway. Why are we wasting our time on things that we should not even give our attention to?

Another thing I can’t wrap my head around with this way of thinking is how people don't realize how much it affects us. I stopped being a person who went with what the majority thought once I realized it was wrong. That's when I decided that it was better not to focus on the negatives as much as possible.  

Dwelling too much on the bad things tends to be heavy on the soul (for me anyway). It affects me as a person. To me, this kind of thinking corrupts my mind and personality. It’s not a good place to be mentally. 

I found that paying attention to the negatives meant not only carrying so much mental weight. It also meant that you tend to ignore the positive things that are there. Not only that, but you also become so used to seeing the only negatives. That means you do not appreciate the good things anymore. That is a sad life to have.  

Being too absorbed in the negative used to make me so paranoid. Because that was my normal focus back then, I had the tendency to think of the worst-case scenario. It was always about what the worst thing that could happen was. That meant I was always scared about things that could happen. Again, not a good mind space to be in.  

Sometimes I wonder if bad things keep on happening because many of us focus on the negatives in life. It makes me wonder what kind of world we could have if we were to concentrate on the good things in life. On making things better instead of making things worse.  

Would it hurt for us to focus on the good things? It would be nice if we could, right?