On a Cloud

June was a month where I focused on the good things in life. I have been having difficulty doing that recently because of several personal setbacks. As mentioned in another post, I have chosen to let go and not see them as bad things. Life is not always going my way, and that’s fine. I now think these are ways to redirect me to even better things. A bigger picture that I have yet to see is unfolding and these setbacks are the way to get me there. 

My job-hunting journey has yet to be successful so far. My frame of mind now is that there is a reason I have not been getting anything yet. The jobs I have been applying for may not be right for me. It's making me think I need to do something else.

I once had a panic attack when I got a job that I later realized I was not happy with. This is why finding the right fit is crucial to me at this point. I can’t help but wonder what exactly is the right path for me. I have this feeling in my gut that I am not on that path yet.  It's going to surprise me somehow somewhere down the road. At least that's what I would like to think about it.

There was a bit of a health struggle for me last month. I had weeks of being unwell for several reasons. I have not completely recovered from these things and am taking things easy. I have been trying to figure out what I can do for complete recovery. I need to avoid having these issues happen again. The experience was terrible!  

I have been doing adulting things lately for my health. I have always been a sick person since I was a child. It’s something I rebelled against. I often forced myself to keep up with all the other healthier kids who could do anything they wanted. Now that I’m an adult, I acknowledge that there are limitations I need to take note of. This means trying to plan and focus on a healthier lifestyle and mindset. Something right for me and my body. It’s a big change and I am taking things one thing at a time.  

Something that I have been focusing on has been the things that make me happy. June marked a restart for some of my creative projects. I had some success in one of the creative pursuits that I have done. and I have been happy celebrating that little win. It’s not as amazing as some creators but I will take the win. It’s encouraging me to do more. I'm determined to work on that. 

Family is another thing that has been making me happy. I had the chance to see some relatives who I have not seen in almost a decade. It was good to catch up with them after so long. There were also some family events to celebrate, and I’m glad I got to do that with people I love.  

Another thing that has been helping me to be happy (apart from reading) has been music. I’m still a big fan of BTS and Seventeen. It’s been making me happy to listen to their music, the latest of which came from the Seventeen sub-unit JxW. The album This Man is something I’ve been enjoying a lot. The concept and everything that goes with it has been interesting and entertaining! It was also so nice to see their activities in Europe. They did a good job and people loved them. I was so happy for them! 

On the BTS side, I was happy to see Jin discharged from the military. He immediately went on Weverse Live to greet everyone! He has been busy since then, hugging and performing for fans being first on the agenda. I heard that he’s also been setting appearances on various shows and events. I’m looking forward to that. The thing I have been most thankful for has been seeing a new photo of Yoongi. It’s his first mask-free photo since he enlisted last year. I’m glad that this discharge gave everyone the chance to see Yoongi again. 

The trick in surviving the uncertainty of things for me has been to look at the good things. It’s about finding the good in everything, even when they do not seem like it. Life is too precious to waste on things I cannot change or are beyond my control. Make no mistake, if things make me feel bad, I’ll allow myself to feel bad. I’m only human and there’s nothing wrong with having those feelings. But I will not let myself wallow in it, because things will never change if I do that. I will push myself to learn from the experience, move forward and move on. There’s nothing else better to do than that.