On a Cloud

Vision. It’s something that so many people take for granted. It’s something that I struggle with daily.

My vision has been bad since I was a child. I have needed glasses for as long as I can remember. It can be a hassle living with glasses. I don't even know how many I have had in my lifetime. I have lost them, sat on them, and broken them in many ways it's frustrating. I wanted to wear contact lenses, but the doctor said my eyes couldn't use that option. I remember the frustration I felt as a child because I was the only one in my family with bad eyesight. I couldn't understand why I had to wear these thick lenses as a child. I was so embarrassed about it!

It’s funny that for someone with bad vision, I have a passion for things that need good vision. Photography is one of them. I can’t begin to explain the struggle of looking through a viewfinder when I wear glasses. I tried not wearing them when I take photos, but that usually results in blurry pictures. It can be annoying. This is why I'm grateful for the digital cameras that have screens as viewfinders. They have been very helpful!

As an avid reader, bad vision means I need glasses to read. It also means getting nagged when I read for long periods. People say too much reading can make bad vision worse. I have no idea if it’s true though.

Bad vision has its advantages (sort of). Without glasses, I could have people waving at me from a distance and I would not recognize them. It gives me a great excuse when I ignore people in public. I’m not a snob, but I get anxious about unplanned social interactions. Not having my glasses on means I could always say I did not see someone. It’s not always the truth, but it’s a good excuse.

This advantage of bad vision helps me pretend not to see people if I want to ignore them. Sometimes it is true that I can't recognize them but it’s not always the case. Full disclosure: those I have seen often or have known long enough are people I can recognize.

Living with bad vision means I can notice other cues to recognize people. I would know who they are by the way they stand or walk. It could also be due to the shape of their bodies. It’s weird, but it works for me. There is also the tendency for me to recognize voices better to help with this. It may be an advantage of bad vision to learn to rely on my other senses to compensate for the lack of good eyesight.

I find it sad to acknowledge that as I get older, I know that my vision could get worse. Aging can do that. It's a fact of life. As much as I want to try laser surgery, I have heard of some disadvantages that have turned me off from the idea. Well, that and being awake with your eyes open during the procedure scare me. If you've seen one of those Final Destination movies, you would understand.

It is a depressing thought that my vision could get worse through time, but as long as I can wear glasses then I'm good. Better glasses than losing vision altogether. I love taking photos too much. I love reading. I love watching movies and shows. I love appreciating art as well as the beauty of the world around me. To not see all that would be such a tragedy!

There is a tendency for me to be stubborn and not wear my glasses for extended periods, but it can be tiring. If I go without the glasses for an entire day, my vision goes from bad to worse by the time night rolls in. I know I have to live with glasses for the rest of my life, but I like to pretend I don't need them sometimes.

People who don't need glasses but wear them for aesthetic reasons, you are all so lucky. You have the luxury to enjoy the look of it but you can live without it anytime you choose. I hope the people who don't need glasses appreciate how lucky they are not to need lenses to see the world.

As for me, I will keep wearing my glasses. I know I will have more of them to come. I hope one day there will be something to help fix people's vision without the need for them. Anything is possible right?