On a Cloud

Lunchtime regular at work...

Early last month my aunt arrived from the US to take a two-month long vacation here in the country. We had not seen her since she left more than twenty years ago. Now that she is back in the country, our family has had the opportunity to catch up and get to know her again. It’s been an eye-opening experience so far.

I love that having my aunt back meant being around family that I had not seen in a while. My favorite part is realizing that I am getting to see people in a different light, including myself. Having conversations with my aunt made me realize that I am now relating to her as a fellow adult. This is so much different from when I was only a kid and she was an adult. There is a very different dynamic and it is very interesting to get to know her from this perspective. We may not be equals as she is still older, but it is still better. Being able to talk as two adults and having more open conversations is refreshing. 

Another thing I love about her visit is how I am getting to see a different side of my mother. She has always been the adult, the elder in our family. Seeing her around her older sister and having that little sister vibe is a side of her I never imagined I would see. I’m glad my aunt came over to help me see my mother in a different light. I am happy that I am getting to know a different side of her through this experience.

September has been K-pop-filled for me. Seventeen has been a helpful distraction from other upsetting K-pop news. Particularly how the Korean press is handling the issue of Yoongi’s “scootergate.” Not that it has been all great on the Seventeen side either. Yes, there was an amazing Lollapalooza Berlin performance. There was also an OT13 appearance in China and those comeback promotional photos. But the fact remains that Jun is still not part of the concert tour because of work in China. And Jeonghan enlisted in September as well. Being one of my biases, it was sad to see him go. He is doing public service. I know based on my experience with Yoongi that seeing or hearing from him will be next to none for the next two years. Not counting any pre-recorded work, of course. I’m glad I managed to catch his last Weverse live before he enlisted. 

I took a break this past month from some of my creative pursuits. It’s been a good break so far, something I needed before getting back to things later this month. It’s healthy to be taking breaks from things every now and then, even from the things we love. It helps to give us a new perspective. And it helps to recharge the enthusiasm we’ve had for them. 

It’s been two months since I got back to my old office. It’s not my old job, and it doesn’t pay as well as the one I used to have, but I am happy with it so far. It’s all about getting what needs to be done over with and moving on to the next. There are no responsibilities that extend beyond that. One task after another and that’s it. I am contracted to be there for only a year. That or until I can finish the main project that they asked me back for in the first place. What happens next is anybody’s guess. 

I have been asked where I plan to be after the contract year ends and to be honest, I don’t know. 

People have asked me to return permanently to the office once that contract ends. While I do tell them that I am open to the idea, a huge part of me feels non-committal. Something in my gut tells me there’s more for me down the road elsewhere. I just don’t know what it is yet. For now, I’ll go from day to day and see where things take me. 

At this point, I feel and believe that anything is possible. I don’t want to limit myself by closing myself off from those possibilities. Life is too good to limit myself to anything less than the best it can offer. I welcome them with open arms.