On a Cloud

As a young child, I remember that I loved thinking positively. It wasn’t something that I decided to do, it was just the way that I was at the time. As a book lover even at an early age, my mind was opened up to the idea that the world was like the fantasy worlds in my books. As I kept reading, I started to believe that anything was possible. That you can achieve what you want if you put your mind to it.

I probably would not have experienced many things in my younger years if I didn’t have this way of thinking. I never sang in public back in elementary school, but I entered a singing contest. I didn’t win, but the experience was very memorable for me. I loved to dance but my parents thought I was too much of a sickly kid to do it. I auditioned and joined dance teams during high school and college. I did not have a formal education in dance, but that didn’t stop me either. Again, that was one of my youth's memorable and fulfilling moments. 

Normally, I tend to be shy around strangers. But given the chance to meet people that I want to get to know, I often push myself to put myself out there. I would break out of my shell and introduce myself. This has allowed me to expand my circle of friends. It helped me to learn a lot from people who are often very different from me and the usual group of people I move around in. Someone was once fascinated that I seemed to be a magnet for interesting people. I think that is because I tend to open myself up to the possibility of meeting them. People today would say I have been manifesting these people into my life. In a way, I may have been unconsciously doing that. 

Up until I certain point I have always thought that I should go after whatever it is I put my mind into. I would rather do the things I want to do now when I have the opportunity to. I did not want to spend my rocking chair years regretting never doing so. I wouldn't have experienced any of the interesting things that happened in my life if I didn’t think that way. If I didn't break out of my comfort zone to at least try to make them happen. They may not have always worked out in the exact way that I wanted, but they did work out well anyway.

My life, however, has not been all about positive vibes and all the good things that go with it. I experienced a particularly long and bleak phase in my life that took a toll on me mentally. Various life events had me sinking to an all-time low. For a time, I did not think that I could ever get out of it. 

It was only recently that I began picking up where I left off. I started on a journey to focus more on the good things in life again. I began living a life of gratitude and opening myself up to the (positive) possibilities. I can’t say that I no longer have those negative thoughts taunting me in my mind, but I am learning to deal with them. 

Today, I have a whiteboard on my bedroom wall that I have placed a vision board on. It focuses on my goals in life and asks: Why Not? What if?” I feel that I have drowned myself for too long in negative thinking and remind myself of this daily. It’s telling me not to put down any thoughts, dreams, or goals that I have. I should always remember to think: why not, why can’t I at least try? And instead of thinking it would never work out anyway, it reminds me to ask, but what if it does? 

I am grateful to be in a frame of mind where I am opening myself up to the possibilities of life again. I haven’t felt this good about myself and about life in a while and I am happy to be in this headspace. I want to live my life to the fullest: on my terms and not allow my fears to hold me back. I want to do what I love as I aim to be the person I want to be.

Life is good and I will keep on focusing on that. I live healthier and happier that way.