On a Cloud

There is a fist-size keloid scar on a part of my body that I was always embarrassed about when I was a kid. It’s something that I got from a childhood accident, and I was often very self-conscious about it. It’s not on a part of my body that is visible to others, but it still makes me uncomfortable sometimes. I remember being young and thinking that the scar made me feel flawed and weird. These days, I am surprised that I don’t even think much about it at all.   

I once read an article about people who had scars that were bigger than mine. They were people who survived accidents or had life-changing surgeries. The key word there is they were survivors. That was an eye-opener for me. These were people who celebrated their scars instead of hiding them. One person even had a tattoo designed around her scars, which was such a beautiful thing to see.  It was a badge of honor, proof of what they overcame to be here.  

It was through that article that I realized that I shouldn’t feel any shame about my scar. It’s a part of me, and a symbol that shows that I survived a significant event in my life. It showed that despite the challenge, I am still here. I never thought of it that way before that article. I was always thinking about the vanity aspect instead of what it represented. From embarrassment, my thoughts had turned to gratitude. I became grateful that despite the accident, I am still here. My scar showed that things could have been worse, but I survived and overcame it.   

The same can be said about our emotional and mental scars. I know that I have had several of them over the years. I used to feel embarrassed about having them because I grew up in a culture where mental health is a taboo subject. While things have changed in that landscape, not everyone is as accepting as what would be ideal. I know people who would associate emotional or mental health issues with being crazy. To them, it means someone who should be in a mental health facility. 

To many, having mental health issues, and having those kinds of scars, means that you are weak. For those people, it is an embarrassing trait to have. But I beg to differ. I have learned that having these mental and emotional scars is not something to be ashamed of. You can’t ask for help if you don’t talk about it. You can’t inspire others to seek help unless you talk about how you overcame your scars.  

There is a strength to being able to say that you have these scars. As with physical ones, you need to overcome something to be able to have them. And that is the point. You overcame them. Sometimes we are so afraid to share our vulnerabilities that we forget their value. It takes a lot of strength to admit to weakness and vulnerability. I admire the people who can do that.   

This is one of the reasons why I became a fan of Min Yoongi, aka SUGA of BTS, aka the rapper AgustD. He has never been one to shy away from showing his scars through his music. He has done a very positive thing by sharing it. His trilogy of albums showed a beautiful journey. His first album reflected darkness and pain. The second focused on strength and acceptance. The third came with the realization that he had overcome his pain to start anew. It is inspiring and a great example of why we shouldn’t be afraid to show our scars. Acknowledging and accepting is part of the process of overcoming them.

I’ve learned that as someone with physical, mental, and emotional scars, I should not feel ashamed of them. They remind me that I am human and I have gone through something big and came out of it as a survivor.  I was strong enough to get through it. That is something I can be proud of.

Most important of all, my scars will also remind me that if I had survived once, I could do it again.  For that, I am always grateful.