On a Cloud

A couple of weeks ago I saw a video clip about a woman discussing one of her duties as a mother. Specifically, listening to her son as he talked about things she was not interested in. I may not be a mother, but I know what she means. My nephew often shares his love of dinosaurs, cars, and Lego with me. I may not always have a personal interest in the topic, but I do my best to give him time to listen to what he says. I did the same for his older sister when she was younger. It was a natural thing for me to do it for him too. 

Once my nephew starts talking, he never stops. And every time he does that, I listen. I sometimes struggle with appreciating or understanding what he is saying, but I do my best to hear what he says. I take the time to ask questions and try to share his excitement as he talks about things he loves. I do my best to respond to what he shares so that he knows I am paying attention. To be honest, sometimes the things he says do not register as well in my brain as I wish it would. Still, I do what I can to be part of the conversation.

People might tell me that I don’t need to do that for my nephew. He has parents and a sibling with whom he can share these things. People can say it is not my responsibility to talk to my nephew when he excitedly rambles on as he usually does. But here’s the thing: I want to. 

Listening for me is a type of love language. Giving up my time to listen and pay attention even if it is of no benefit to me is one of the ways I show my love for others. The quality time I devote to giving my full attention to the people I care about is a form of love that I take seriously.

If there’s one thing that I wish I had growing up, it’s having someone who listens to what I have to say. To have someone to pay attention to what I have to say no matter how mundane or inconsequential it may be. I like doing this for my nephew so he knows that he can talk to me about anything. I want it to be a sign that he doesn’t have to keep what he thinks to himself. As a child, he should know he has people he can talk to about whatever is on his mind.

Now that I think about it, many of us need or want someone who listens to us. It doesn’t matter if we are kids or adults. Knowing that we matter, even if it is only to one person in this entire world, tugs at the heart. For those who are at their lowest, having someone who makes you feel like you matter makes a difference. Trust me, I know. I was once one of those people. 

For many of us, all we want at our core is to be heard. To be validated in the sense that there is a person (or more) who says that you matter. That your thoughts and your feelings matter. I hope that by taking the time to listen to my nephew now, I could show them that they matter and they deserve to be heard. I also hope that one day, having experienced this, they could pay it forward and be the listeners for others too. 

By listening I get to show my love for my nephew. I know how important it is to be heard and I put a lot of value in that. If I can be the person that my loved one needs just by being quiet and paying attention, I will. We all deserve to be loved. We all deserve to feel needed. We all deserve to feel like we matter. 

Take the time to listen to someone you love today. Even if you don’t feel like it. You’ll never know when that simple act can make a difference that will matter to that person’s life the most.