On a Cloud

Would you prefer to be a big fish in a small pool or a small fish in a big pool? Or would you rather be a big fish in an even bigger pool?

Those questions have been running in my head for the past year or so. It had me questioning my career path and what I wanted out of my life. I was a big fish – but in a small pond. It was a good job and it paid very well. But was I happy? I couldn’t say that with certainty. That was why I decided to quit my job. And it has been a very interesting experience.

In the past year, I have tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. For the most part, it meant doing something on the creative side of things. Something that I want to do for myself that could one day pay the bills. In the meantime, I needed to find something else to tide me over. 

I applied for jobs that were more of the small fish in a big pond variety. I wanted it to be something that I could do while working on my creative pursuits at the same time. I often experienced two things when applying for these jobs. One is people telling me that I am overqualified. That or they find it strange that I am applying for lower-level jobs. The other? Being offered jobs that were not only lower-level but had less than ideal pay, even for that level. I have no problem with it. I admit it has been a challenge adjusting to the change given how much I was earning in my previous job.

It has been difficult to figure out what exactly I should be doing to help support my creative passions. There has been an offer to return to my old job permanently, and it has been tempting. But it feels like that would be a one step forward, two steps back move for me. I was even offered a position higher than what I had before but I refused. As good as the pay is and as high of a rank it is, I don’t think that it’s worth the stress and the long hours I need to put into it. I have set aside some of the things I wanted for myself because of work and I refuse to do that again. 

A relative of mine feels bad that I am choosing to be a small fish in a small pond (so to speak). My relative wondered why I wanted this life when I could be a big fish in a big pond. My relative’s aspirations for me are confidence-boosting. Despite that, I do not see myself being happy with careers that remove the freedom to have a life outside of the job. I am the type of person who goes all in when I commit to something. Having a job with a lot of responsibilities would mean not having time for much else.

Based on what I’ve been reading online many people feel the same way I do. They no longer want to live to work. After the pandemic, many realized they needed to live more. People have figured out there are more important things that need to be prioritized in our lives. 

To preserve my mental health, I decided to make time for the things that make me happy. It meant sacrificing a great job position and a high salary for me. But the peace of mind and the time I get back is more precious than all that. 

Achieving a high position or salary is not that important to me. Climbing the corporate ladder comes with the need to deal with people you may not like. You need to play the game to move up, as some might say. The thing is, I don't want to play that game in life anymore.

I don’t want to be someone important, I only want to be me. I want to be doing something that I love. Something that makes me happy and fulfilled. If it comes with the perks I gave up along the way, I would be grateful. But even with a way of living that is simple but helps me get through every day, I would be happy with that. It may be an unconventional choice for many, but this is the choice I made to be happier. And I know in my heart that I do not regret it.